the First Step is Always the Hardest

We promise we have not left you guys... we have just been a little busy and haven't been able to continue telling you about what the Lord is doing through our adoption. Let us first start off by saying THANK YOU so much for your prayers. Please keep them coming. You do not know how much we feel them every day. It is so encouraging when we hear that you have our picture on your fridge and every time you see it you pray specifically for us, our birth family, and our child. If you do not have a photo of us and would like one please email us and we will make sure we send you one.

Not sure if you aware but this month is National Adoption Month and a year ago this Sunday is when we officially began the adoption process. As you know I have described the adoption process as a rollercoaster ride and I haven't really been very specific on some of those details. Here are some details that we can share of what just happened last week. Please note that we are not allowed to share any more because of the confidentiality of the process. 

Well last week we received our first call from the adoption agency and they told us that a baby was born and that the mother wanted to know more about us to place him in our home. After prayers and tears Jesse and I agreed to show the birth family our adoption profile. You could only imagine the excitement and nervousness we felt. This was totally different than we thought. This baby is already born.  I thought we would have a couple of months to finalize our nursery, to get a car seat, and a name. How long can you have a baby without a name? These were all things that I knew we could get in the typical two months after the birth family chooses you. But this was getting REAL at this point.

Sorry I cannot share the details after that since it is confidential but the end result was that the family decided that the Lord had prepared them to raise this little one. I will tell you that I know the Lord guarded our hearts and guess what we had perfect peace about it. I told the counselor that we did not need any extra counseling because we knew that this was not our baby. I was amazed that we didn't completed lost it, and we still even today have perfect peace.  

John 14:27 says Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Now here is how you can help... Please keep on praying for us. The Lord and your prayers helped us get through last week. I can't wait to share about the feeling of knowing when I have perfect peace that this child is the one. Also you can help us share our story. A few months ago our closest friends Leslie and Alan came over and allowed us to share our testimony with you guys through a video. This video will also be included on our GoFundMe account if you could share this online. We want people to be able to hear our testimony all over the world. God has a plan and purpose for this story whether it will be viewed by our birthmother herself or maybe inspire someone who is dealing with cancer or infertility. Lastly thank you to everyone who purchased our T-shirts. We still have some available if you would like to buy one. Just email us and we can mail it to you where ever you are.

Now get out the popcorn and gather your family and friends and check out our adoption video. (BTW- Jesse and I are 40+pounds lighter than we are in this video.. more to come on that story)

got "Rhythm in my Feet" and music in my soul

If you would have told me several years ago that I would be a writer I would have laughed. Writing is not something that appeals to me, I actually do not like to write. Writing is just not something that I feel called to do.

It is pretty amazing that when you sit down at the computer and you know you have to write something and when the time comes to actually put something on paper. You may know the topic, you may not know the topic. All you know is that something is stirring in your mind that needs to be heard or meant for your readers. So you put your hands on the keyboard and something amazing happens...you begin to type.. and letters and words appear on your screen. You just keep on going and before long you notice that you have 5 paragraphs. This happened last month when I was writing another blog.

Well after you finish you go back and you read your words and you are amazed that you actually wrote that. You began to say wow that was me and wow I am a pretty good writer. Well I feel like I am a good writer, but not a GREAT writer. I think over time as I begin to build confidence and as I learn to reveal pieces of myself. I think I may become a GREAT writer. But for now I just want to write from my heart. I just want to share stories that mean so much to me. 

The story that I would like to share this week is a story of my friend Melody. Every time I hear or sing the song, "In my heart there rings a melody" I think about my friend Melody. She is such an encouragement and true inspiration to me. She has strength and courage and she has a spunky personality. I believe God placed her in my life for many reasons, one being that we are alike in so many ways. We love Mexican food, we love Southern Gospel music, and we just love to laugh. Spending time with Melody has been the highlight of my week. I know that every Wednesday we get to spend time together worshiping the Lord and studying His word. I just want to thank Melody for being that inspiration to me and encouraging me throughout the week with her smile. 

A few weeks ago Melody inspired me more than she will ever really know. See we typically share our hymnals and Bibles during Wednesday night study. So just like any Wednesday I was prepared to share with her. But God had another plan... As I sat down my purse a Gideon New Testament Bibles popped out. She saw it and was like ohhh what is that? It never really crossed my mind that we share my Bible each week and that she doesn't have one with her. I immediately offered it to her. She of course took the Bible and placed it near her heart and hugged it. What a precious gift it was for her! It was Melody's copy, something she treasured and valued. Something that she could bring by herself on Wednesday nights and of course she did for several weeks. Well one night Melody didn't bring her Bible. I believe she looked at me several times to see if I noticed it, but to be honest I didn't even realize it. She then told me that she was so sorry that she didn't bring the Bible tonight. I told her no worries I have mine we can share. I later found out from her sister that she placed her Bible in a safe place so it wouldn't get washed, but that Melody was looking everywhere for it and thought she had lost this precious gift. 

Let me ask you something. Is that what God's word means to you? Well this was a question I needed to ask myself. Does God's word ignite your heart, nourish your soul, evaluate your desires, illuminate your path, reveal the real you?? Ask these questions daily. Because God's word will do these things. Hebrews 4:12 tells us the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Thank you Melody for this constant reminder that God's word is powerful and that we should not take it for granted. That my Bible is a precious gift and that I need to read it every day and to be obedient to what the Lord would ask me to do.

In my heart there rings a melody 

There rings a melody with heaven's harmony; 

In my heart there rings a melody 

There rings a melody of love!

"Lord, plant my Feet on higher ground"

1. For the first time in the adoption process I had a weak day or moment. One day last week I had a I want my baby now kind of a day. I haven't had one of those this entire time and remember I talked about the roller coaster ride. Well this is part of the journey.   

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1. God revealed to us early on that he placed us on this journey to tell others our story. And wow...we have had numerous opportunities to share our story. We were able to be on the news and were in the Tennessean. This is really not what I had in store for us but God opened this doors and we were obedient. As we shared and continue to share our story we pray that God would use our story to honor and glorify His name. Please be in prayer as God isn't done yet.

1. Last week I lost focus. I took my mind off the call and was disobedient. As I was speaking with a friend this scripture came to my mind. Philippians 3:14 says I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. This scripture is pretty much the mission that God has placed before us. I took my eyes off the prize. I decided to not follow the path that God had laid out for me, but to venture down a side road. This road was dusty, rocky, out of GPS service, and seemed to have no light at the end of the tunnel. This road took me far away from where I was supposed to be. When I reached the end of the road all I found was jealousy, greed, and sorrow and I didn't like being there. I hit rock bottom and I began to pray. God revealed to me this song: 

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2. I’m pressing on the upward way,
3. New heights I’m gaining every day;
   Still praying as I’m onward bound,
   “Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”
   • Refrain:
     Lord, lift me up and let me stand,
     By faith, on Heaven’s tableland,
     A higher plane than I have found;
     Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.
4. My heart has no desire to stay
   Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
   Though some may dwell where those abound,
   My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.
5. I want to live above the world,
   Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
   For faith has caught the joyful sound,
   The song of saints on higher ground.
6. I want to scale the utmost height
   And catch a gleam of glory bright;
   But still I’ll pray till heav’n I’ve found,
   “Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

This song spoke alot to me. I want God to plant my feet on higher ground. I want to be able to continue this journey and to not worry about taking shortcuts to get to the end. My path is clear and I am back on this journey. The final verse that was spoken to me is 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. As I look back on this blog in a few years I hope and pray that I can say that I kept on fighting, I finished the race, and I was forever Faithful.

"Standing 80 Feet" off the ground and racing 55 miles per hour

My ticket has been stamped. My seat belt has been fastened. The conductor tells us to keep our hands and feet in the cart at all times and the whistle blows. Now our cart begins to move up on what seems to be the biggest mountain that I have ever climbed. The wind is so gentle as it brushes against my face and blows my hair from side to side. The fresh smell of the outdoors is comforting. As I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer I look around and notice that we had finally made it to the top of the mountain that we were climbing. I quickly grab the bar in front of me and hold on as tight as I possibly can. Here we go... the wind is now gushing hard toward my face and I cannot keep my eyes open. I begin to scream a little because of excitement but alot because of fear. Fear of not be able to control what may happen or the fear of the unknown.

As I stepped on this roller coaster months ago I knew what I was up against. I knew that I wasn't in control and that it would make me so nervous. I knew that the track would take sharp turns, would turn upside down, would sometimes go slow and sometimes it would go fast. I knew that I wouldn't know the path of the roller coaster. I know this ride will eventually end. It has to stop sometime... right?? 

Many of you have mentioned the lengths you have gone through to help us with a baby. You have shared our profile with counselors, other adoption agencies, friends, or even people you may not know.. Thank you for your support. I believe at least once a week we hear about a potential birth mom here or there. When I say it is a roller coaster.. it has been. Will one of these birth moms pan out? We have given our phone number, should we follow up if we do not hear anything? Are we prepared, do we have a car seat and what about diapers? Will we have time to get everything in order? These are the thoughts that have swarmed my brain lately and here I am buckled in tightly on this roller coaster of adoption. 

Many of you ask me if I want to know details about the birth mother that you are talking too. You are trying to guard our hearts and worry that we may get our hopes up. Honestly, I am on this roller coaster..ain't I? I know what I am up against. I know what this means. I know it will happen sometime and I know the ride will be bumpy. I will cry, I will laugh, I will smile, and I will worry. But know I am not in this alone. 

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. 

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

Even though this roller coaster seems like it is out of control, God is the conductor and He knows this track. He knows when to go fast, when to go slow. He knows when the cart will go upside down, and He knows how to take those sharp turns. So as I stay seated, hands and feet remaining in the cart at all times..I will let God take care of me and enjoy this ride. 

Jeremiah 29:11New Living Translation (NLT)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

how beautiful are the "Feet" of those who bring good news

Divine appointments are what I want to put on my calendar, but how can I know when God is going to ask me to share about Him and to share my story. I wish I had a little bit of warning when I am called to talk to others about my faith. I mean I have no problem talking and even talking on the phone. But if only I knew what God had planned when I talk to others. 

Well this week I have had numerous divine appointments and looking back at the journey on how God led me to that exact place and exact time is nothing but a miracle from Him. I mean I hit every red light, someone stopped me in the hall, and I didn't have time but I needed gas. If those times would have went just even a slight different then I would not have had that appointment. It wasn't on my calendar and I wasn't prepared. Well I didn't think I was prepared, but God used me. 

A few weeks ago I made a commitment to begin a journey through daily Bible reading. It is really amazing what God can reveal through His word. Romans 15:4 says "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope." 

Well...I have confession, I have been a Christian for almost 17 years and I probably own about 15 personal Bibles not to count the Bible app on my phone, the internet Bibles, and the Gideon Bibles that I carry around in my purse. I have access to God's word and I take it for granted. I was not reading my Bible like I should. There are countries where people are persecuted because of their faith. People are hiding their Bibles so they will not be killed or they are not hiding their Bibles because they want others to know about God. These people want and crave the knowledge of God. I know that God is calling me to crave His knowledge. I am there, but I need help. Please be in prayer for me.

God has been leading me to read Paul's letters. Today I read 1 Corinthians Chapter 15 and this is the verse that speaks volumes to me. 58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

So throw out those divine appointment calendars and open up God's word. When those opportunities arise you will know it, God will use you, be obedient, and share your story because how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

The Ezra Project messages inspire people and church families to recommit to reading, doing, and sharing of God's Word.

"Walking with Clay Feet"

When I was a kid I loved talking on the phone with my friends or really anyone who had a phone. I remember standing hours in the kitchen just talking to my girlfriends about nothing really. I remember the cord that could wrap around my entire house that usually took me at least ten minutes every time to unravel. I remember when we got our first cordless phone and that antenna that would reach to the sky. I also remember my parents buying me my own phone line and sadly I remember that old phone number.

 
I remember my first cell phone and how large it was. I remember going over my minutes and trying to make my own payments before they shut it off. I remember receiving my first text message and trying to figure out what the huge envelope was on my screen. I remember my first Smartphone it was a BlackBerry, that rolling ball always would get stuck. I remember receiving my first email message and updating my Facebook status on my new iPhone. I remember all the times I thought to call someone but sent them a text or email instead. I remember my first Face Time experience and I remember that it was with my Daddy who had an iPhone before me and he was helping me learn all the details.

I love to Skype with my buddy.

You know what I am talking about. We love our phones. We would be lost without our phones. Our calendars, our photos, our Bible, our weather update, and our address books. If someone stole my phone it is like stealing my identity. I would find myself asking the questions... wait who am I? and who are you? Are we really this helpless?

Today I feel like the only phone calls I receive are from politicians. Every time my phone rings I immediately have this sense of relief, hope, and a little fear. It could be about my baby. So I answer the phone, take a deep breath, and say Hello. Thoughts begin running a mile a minute ...Could this be it? Could I have been chosen? Is my baby coming home? Nope, not this time.. Someone is running for State Representative or someone has opened an account and they need my credit card information in order to close it. Really telephone... we have been through alot together over these past years. Can you please be a call about my baby?

One day we will look back at this blog and laugh because I am sure we will receive hundreds of texts, many voicemails, several phone calls, a few Face Time Calls (most will be by accident), and a million notifications before that call comes through. I am ready for the wait, I got this. You can do it.

Psalm 27:14- Wait for the Lord; be strong, 

and let your heart take courage; 

wait for the LORD!

putting the best "Foot" forward

Sometimes we get wrapped up in life and tend to forget that God has His hands in every detail. That He molds, shapes, and crafts our lives. I like to think that I have a genuine sweet spirit and my mission in life is to serve God and to serve others. Many times I overdo it, but the rewards that come from these journeys of servanthood are fruitful and filled with joy. So this brings me to this week. As I spoke with one of my neighbors, she reminded me that as you bless others, God blesses you. Wow that is so true... I can share many blogs about the showers of blessings that God has already given us. The blessings of life, blessings of salvation, blessings of health, and blessings of love. 

On Tuesday, we received an email from a public relations director in Illinois. She said that our story was powerful and that she had already shared it with the local news station in Nashville and that they were interested in setting up an interview ASAP. Well immediately Jesse and I talked about the validity of this. Is this a scam? Really our profile was online and anyone could have seen it and contacted us.. So we worked diligently overnight and on Wednesday afternoon trying to find out if this really could be true. 

Well Thursday morning, the Channel 4 news station were on our back porch cameras, mics, and all to help us tell our story. As Jesse and I set out on this adoption journey months ago we developed a mission. We knew we were called to adopt, but we wanted our mission to be telling others our story. We do have a powerful story. God not only cured Jesse but he cleanse him through and through. Cancer free but more importantly Heaven-bound.

In order to fulfill these missions we must be obedient and allow the Lord to lead, guide, and direct us. If we obey Him, He will give us the words to say, the eyes to see, and the ears to hear. 

Deuteronomy 28 1-14 NIV says 28 If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you. The Lord will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the Lord your God and walk in obedience to him. Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they will fear you. The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you.The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.

To see our Channel 4 news interview click on the link below. What a blessing and what a great opportunity. Keep coming back to our blog to read because God isn't done yet. There will be mountains of blessings to come.  Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Aguirre Adoption TV Interview