"Standing 80 Feet" off the ground and racing 55 miles per hour

My ticket has been stamped. My seat belt has been fastened. The conductor tells us to keep our hands and feet in the cart at all times and the whistle blows. Now our cart begins to move up on what seems to be the biggest mountain that I have ever climbed. The wind is so gentle as it brushes against my face and blows my hair from side to side. The fresh smell of the outdoors is comforting. As I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer I look around and notice that we had finally made it to the top of the mountain that we were climbing. I quickly grab the bar in front of me and hold on as tight as I possibly can. Here we go... the wind is now gushing hard toward my face and I cannot keep my eyes open. I begin to scream a little because of excitement but alot because of fear. Fear of not be able to control what may happen or the fear of the unknown.

As I stepped on this roller coaster months ago I knew what I was up against. I knew that I wasn't in control and that it would make me so nervous. I knew that the track would take sharp turns, would turn upside down, would sometimes go slow and sometimes it would go fast. I knew that I wouldn't know the path of the roller coaster. I know this ride will eventually end. It has to stop sometime... right?? 

Many of you have mentioned the lengths you have gone through to help us with a baby. You have shared our profile with counselors, other adoption agencies, friends, or even people you may not know.. Thank you for your support. I believe at least once a week we hear about a potential birth mom here or there. When I say it is a roller coaster.. it has been. Will one of these birth moms pan out? We have given our phone number, should we follow up if we do not hear anything? Are we prepared, do we have a car seat and what about diapers? Will we have time to get everything in order? These are the thoughts that have swarmed my brain lately and here I am buckled in tightly on this roller coaster of adoption. 

Many of you ask me if I want to know details about the birth mother that you are talking too. You are trying to guard our hearts and worry that we may get our hopes up. Honestly, I am on this roller coaster..ain't I? I know what I am up against. I know what this means. I know it will happen sometime and I know the ride will be bumpy. I will cry, I will laugh, I will smile, and I will worry. But know I am not in this alone. 

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. 

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

Even though this roller coaster seems like it is out of control, God is the conductor and He knows this track. He knows when to go fast, when to go slow. He knows when the cart will go upside down, and He knows how to take those sharp turns. So as I stay seated, hands and feet remaining in the cart at all times..I will let God take care of me and enjoy this ride. 

Jeremiah 29:11New Living Translation (NLT)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

how beautiful are the "Feet" of those who bring good news

Divine appointments are what I want to put on my calendar, but how can I know when God is going to ask me to share about Him and to share my story. I wish I had a little bit of warning when I am called to talk to others about my faith. I mean I have no problem talking and even talking on the phone. But if only I knew what God had planned when I talk to others. 

Well this week I have had numerous divine appointments and looking back at the journey on how God led me to that exact place and exact time is nothing but a miracle from Him. I mean I hit every red light, someone stopped me in the hall, and I didn't have time but I needed gas. If those times would have went just even a slight different then I would not have had that appointment. It wasn't on my calendar and I wasn't prepared. Well I didn't think I was prepared, but God used me. 

A few weeks ago I made a commitment to begin a journey through daily Bible reading. It is really amazing what God can reveal through His word. Romans 15:4 says "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope." 

Well...I have confession, I have been a Christian for almost 17 years and I probably own about 15 personal Bibles not to count the Bible app on my phone, the internet Bibles, and the Gideon Bibles that I carry around in my purse. I have access to God's word and I take it for granted. I was not reading my Bible like I should. There are countries where people are persecuted because of their faith. People are hiding their Bibles so they will not be killed or they are not hiding their Bibles because they want others to know about God. These people want and crave the knowledge of God. I know that God is calling me to crave His knowledge. I am there, but I need help. Please be in prayer for me.

God has been leading me to read Paul's letters. Today I read 1 Corinthians Chapter 15 and this is the verse that speaks volumes to me. 58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

So throw out those divine appointment calendars and open up God's word. When those opportunities arise you will know it, God will use you, be obedient, and share your story because how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

The Ezra Project messages inspire people and church families to recommit to reading, doing, and sharing of God's Word.

"Walking with Clay Feet"

When I was a kid I loved talking on the phone with my friends or really anyone who had a phone. I remember standing hours in the kitchen just talking to my girlfriends about nothing really. I remember the cord that could wrap around my entire house that usually took me at least ten minutes every time to unravel. I remember when we got our first cordless phone and that antenna that would reach to the sky. I also remember my parents buying me my own phone line and sadly I remember that old phone number.

 
I remember my first cell phone and how large it was. I remember going over my minutes and trying to make my own payments before they shut it off. I remember receiving my first text message and trying to figure out what the huge envelope was on my screen. I remember my first Smartphone it was a BlackBerry, that rolling ball always would get stuck. I remember receiving my first email message and updating my Facebook status on my new iPhone. I remember all the times I thought to call someone but sent them a text or email instead. I remember my first Face Time experience and I remember that it was with my Daddy who had an iPhone before me and he was helping me learn all the details.

I love to Skype with my buddy.

You know what I am talking about. We love our phones. We would be lost without our phones. Our calendars, our photos, our Bible, our weather update, and our address books. If someone stole my phone it is like stealing my identity. I would find myself asking the questions... wait who am I? and who are you? Are we really this helpless?

Today I feel like the only phone calls I receive are from politicians. Every time my phone rings I immediately have this sense of relief, hope, and a little fear. It could be about my baby. So I answer the phone, take a deep breath, and say Hello. Thoughts begin running a mile a minute ...Could this be it? Could I have been chosen? Is my baby coming home? Nope, not this time.. Someone is running for State Representative or someone has opened an account and they need my credit card information in order to close it. Really telephone... we have been through alot together over these past years. Can you please be a call about my baby?

One day we will look back at this blog and laugh because I am sure we will receive hundreds of texts, many voicemails, several phone calls, a few Face Time Calls (most will be by accident), and a million notifications before that call comes through. I am ready for the wait, I got this. You can do it.

Psalm 27:14- Wait for the Lord; be strong, 

and let your heart take courage; 

wait for the LORD!