I need help sometimes to "Stand on my own two feet"

Last week was National Infertility Awareness Week. I had begun writing this blog and planned to submit it last week.  But to be honest, I became worried that others would think bad of me when reading my thoughts and pain of being infertile. It is truly a huge challenge more than many will ever understand.  

Well here is one story I will share... About 9 months ago, I thought a miracle had occurred. I was having morning sickness, I was having these strange cravings, and I was very late. Could it be? Could there be a baby growing inside of me? These thoughts began taking over my world. I was so excited! I have even decided that if I were pregnant that I would announce it to Jesse and our friends in the most creative way ever. I had to come up with a creative way to share the good news of this miracle, right?? I didn't tell anyone that I thought I was pregnant, not even Jesse. I wanted to wait until the time was right and then get a pregnancy test to prove this miracle had come true. 

Well all of this excitement only lasted a couple days when I found out that the miracle that I wanted to share so creatively with my love and friends didn't really happen. Well my world fell apart. I was so angry. I was angry at CANCER, at Jesse, at everyone who could have children naturally, and angry at the world. This day I said some very horrible things to Jesse and cried in bed all night. Jesse had no clue that I was dealing with this, he just took on all the blame and kept saying he was sorry that it is all his fault that we could not have a baby. Well after this crazy event, I told him that we needed to go to counseling. So the first day of counseling I revealed to our pastor and Jesse that I thought I was pregnant and then found out that I wasn't. This took Jesse by surprise and he was sad that I didn't confide in him during this time. He told me that he never wanted me to have to go through that again and we agreed that we would be open and honest with one another. He is such a wonderful and patient husband. 


Do you struggle with infertility? if so, get help! God does not want you to go through these things alone. There are people out there who can help. Call me if you need someone to talk too, I am here for you. Now I know what you are thinking after reading my struggle above you may not want help from me. But let's be honest here... we are not perfect, we all hurt, we all suffer, and we all need each other. I decided 9 months ago that I was going to go through this alone and I spun out of control. I'm thankful that I serve an awesome and mighty God that has everything in control. God seemed million miles away, but He was by my side all along. 

I truly believe there is a miracle coming, because God is able and has the power to prevail. This miracle may not be the way I saw it, but I have redirected my faith and thoughts and placed it in the hands of the Lord. All things are possible with God.  Matthew 17: 20-21 says 20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Walk a mile in my shoes

It is official... We are finally a waiting family. What that means is birthmom's know we exist and that we are adopting and they can see our profiles.

Check list for all of those keeping score:

Domestic Packet -- CHECK
Domestic Adoption Courses -- CHECK
Home Study -- CHECK
Domestic Group Training Courses -- 3/4 CHECK
Online Profile -- CHECK
Adoption Profile Books -- CHECK
Online Profile -- CHECK
Adoption Yard Sale Fundraiser -- IN PROCESS
Both Hands Fundraiser -- IN PROCESS
Pure Charity Fundraiser -- IN PROCESS


Group Courses- 
This past Tuesday we attended our third of four adoption group courses. This week two couples who adopted came and talked about their experiences with openness.  Since we are adopting domestically we can choose to have an open adoption with our birth mother. Our open plan says that we will send photos and videos via email twice a month and plan to meet quarterly with our birthmother at a public location. We will tell our child daily about their mother's sacrifice and the love that she has for them. 

Online Profile-  Part of being on the wait list means that the birthmother can view our profile online.  Feel free to take a look at our profile and share it with others. Jesse and Krista's online profile After the birthmom looks at our profile she may choose to look at our adoption profile books.

Adoption Yard Sale Fundraiser-  We will be doing our first fundraiser this summer.  It will be on June 7th.  If you have any items that you would like to donate, feel free to reply to this blog or email us at jaguirre2783@comcast.net.  Thank you to everyone that has already donated items.  I am super excited about this turn out.  There will also be a bake sale and t-shirt sale as well.  So be sure to put this on your calendar to attend.  

Both Hands Fundraiser- We are doing this in the fall.  Be in prayer for this event as this will be our final fundraiser.  We trust that the Lord will provide our financial needs during this time.

These are the frequently asked questions so I thought I would do a little Q&A.  

When do you get your baby? It could be 3 weeks to 3 years.We will not have any clue on the date.  Since we are doing domestic adoption the birthmom must choose us.  We are adopting nationwide so our birth mom could be here or in Oregon, Maryland, Ohio, Florida, or any US state. We will only know when we receive the call.  

Can you adopt any baby or must it be a Bethany baby?  Yes we can adopt any baby that is up for adoption. This is called a private adoption. We will work through our lawyer to finalize the details. Although we will recommend that the mom go through counseling because this is a difficult decision for her and we want to make sure she is aware of all of her options.

Can you adopt any age?  Yes we can and we are very open to adopting young children and siblings as well.

How can we help?  There are several ways that you could help.  

• We need prayers.  Your prayers have covered us through all of this so far. Keep them coming. 
• We need help with getting the word out. Sharing our story with others helps to spread the word and to make others aware of how adoption works. Share our blog with them.
• You can donate items or bake goods for our yard sale/bake sale in June.
• You can donate some of your time helping us promote our fundraisers and mail/email letters to those that may want to help.
• You can donate financially by coming to our fundraisers or by making an online donation at http://www.gofundme.com/aguirres-adoption-fund

Today I am reminded of sacrifices.  The sacrifice of my birth mother and the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made as he suffered and bore my sins on the cross. The power of the cross is amazing and living. 

Romans 10:9-10 says If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. If you do not know Jesus as a personal savior but you believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead for your sins then you are saved. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and to be your personal savior. That is it guys.. that simple.